Its Okay to Be Single
Why is it that everyone who is either in a relationship, your nail tech or an older relative feels the need to express to you their deepest sympathy, for your lack of action in your love life. Meanwhile, the other 50% will give you the, I'm sorry for you to look, followed up with, "you're a pretty girl you'll find someone someday" (*rolls eyes *). And sometimes I laugh because I'm such a homebody, that I think if it's not the skipthedishes guy, I really don't know when or how I would meet my Mr right. And to add on to that, if you see me, prancing around with my favourite ex, well listen to this, don't ask any questions because of its none of your business ;). Being single isn't such a bad thing, it really isn't a crippling disease with side effects of 12 cats, loneliness and an all men are dogs mentality I promise it really isn't.
While being single, you can finally be selfish with your time, go on as many dates as you please, or go out as late as you want without any arguments from anyone. I personally feel that being single especially in your 20s is a perfect time for self-discovery. You're just becoming an adult trying to figure out where you belong in the world and the type of impact you want to create. Maybe you want to travel or study abroad, and it can be a little challenging finding out what works for you when you're always catering to someone else's needs. Although being in a relationship does have its perks, I mean it's nice to always have a dinner date, and a partner in crime to satisfy everything down to your physical needs. Relationships can also be a distraction, granted if you let it be, especially from the important things we need to do for our selves. In the early stages of your days spent single fresh out of a relationship, can be a bit rough, and you might be tempted to go back to your partner, but if it's unfixable then STOP. There's beauty in self-love I promise, being alone is a perfect excuse to get closer too family -the permanent people in your life, and your friends remember them, you might have neglected them by spending all your free time with your old fling, but if they're real they still got your back. Also, it's a good idea to reflect back on what does and does not work for you in a relationship, so you don't make those same mistakes next time. Maybe start on that project you have been putting off or sign up for those classes you were meaning to take.
From societies standpoint, it seems that being single is a horrible thing. We are taught that being a woman means you are only happy when you find love. I blame Disney movies for forcing the idea that women will be fulfilled once she is saved by her prince. Who remembers the Cheetah girls? they were on to something with that song Cinderella by telling our 11-year-old selves what's up. Marriage kids might not be everyone's idea of happily ever after and that's okay. Being happy single isn't anti-relationship it's about having so much self-love that we don't let ourselves be defined by a relationship. Let's celebrate that woman in her late 20's or 30s with no kids for that job promotion without questioning her about why she isn't married or has kids yet. Let's not hop from relationship to relationship to fulfil a need or satisfaction from a person that we can only really get from ourselves. The best thing we can do is focus on "self" and love who we are by being happy alone. First, let's make sure that we are healed from our past traumas before you choose to love someone else. Before we get into a relationship we need to first, create those boundaries without building a wall to protect ourselves. Put your self first in every situation, and as long as your not hurting people then that's okay. We can only attract who we are, and what we think we deserve. So why not bask in the glory of being happily single loving ourselves to the fullest so we can attract someone who will fulfil our needs. You can't love anyone else until you love your self and that means being comfortable being alone. With that being said, the next time your Mom, Abuelita, or a friend questions why you are still single, tell them you love yourself and that's enough.